Relationship Anarchy: A New Perspective on Relationships

In recent years, a new concept in personal relationships has been gaining attention and traction: Relationship Anarchy (RA). This approach to relationships is radically different from traditional models and is characterized by a rejection of rules and structures that dictate how love and connections should unfold.

Understanding Relationship Anarchy

The term ‘Relationship Anarchy’ was coined by Andie Nordgren, a Swedish activist, in a manifesto published in 2006. RA challenges the conventional hierarchy of relationships, where romantic partnerships are often prioritized above all others. It argues against a one-size-fits-all approach to relationships, suggesting that each connection should be allowed to find its own shape and form based on the needs and desires of the individuals involved.

RA is built on several key principles:

  1. Autonomy and Individual Agency: At the heart of RA is the belief in personal autonomy and the rejection of societal norms that dictate how relationships should work. Each person is seen as an autonomous individual with the freedom to choose how they engage in all forms of relationships.
  2. Equality of Relationships: RA challenges the idea that romantic or sexual relationships are inherently more valuable than other types of relationships, like friendships. It promotes the idea that all connections, whether they are romantic, platonic, sexual, familial, or something else entirely, should be valued equally.
  3. Consent and Communication: Open and honest communication is vital in RA. Since there are no default rules, individuals must negotiate the terms of their relationships with each other, ensuring ongoing consent and respect for each other’s boundaries.
  4. Rejecting Possessiveness: Traditional relationship models often include an element of possession or control over the other person. RA rejects this, advocating for independence and freedom within relationships.

How Relationship Anarchy Challenges Traditional Structures

RA is seen as revolutionary because it directly challenges the hierarchical and possessive structures often found in traditional relationships. It questions societal norms that suggest we must find ‘The One’, marry, and live a certain way. Instead, RA advocates for relationships that are based on mutual respect, consent, and genuine connection, free from societal expectations.

This approach can be empowering, promoting individual choice and flexibility. However, it’s not without challenges. It requires a level of self-awareness, communication skills, and emotional maturity that may not come naturally to everyone.

Finding Like-Minded Individuals: Lefty, the Dating App for Progressives

For those interested in exploring Relationship Anarchy or other non-traditional relationship structures, finding like-minded individuals can be a challenge. This is where Lefty, a dating app specifically designed for progressives, comes in. Lefty aims to create a space for people who share progressive values, including openness to different relationship models like RA.

On Lefty, users can connect with others who are interested in exploring relationships that go beyond traditional boundaries. The app promotes a culture of openness, respect, and consent, aligning well with the principles of Relationship Anarchy.


Relationship Anarchy offers an intriguing alternative to traditional relationship models. It empowers individuals to form connections that are authentic to their desires and needs, free from societal constraints. While it may not be for everyone, its emphasis on autonomy, equality, and consent can provide valuable insights into how we approach all our relationships.

For those interested in exploring RA or other non-traditional relationship structures, platforms like Lefty offer a supportive community and the opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals.

Sources and Further Reading

  • Nordgren, A. (2006). The Relationship Anarchy Manifesto.
  • Barker, M., & Scheele, J. (2016). Queer: A Graphic History. Icon Books.
  • Klesse, C. (2007). The Spectre of Promiscuity: Gay Male and Bisexual Non-Monogamies and Polyamories. Ashgate Publishing.
  • Sheff, E. (2014). The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families. Rowman & Littlefield.

This exploration into Relationship Anarchy not only highlights a shift in societal norms but also introduces a platform like Lefty, which supports and encourages these progressive ideas.

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