If this is not the best way a Lefty’s marriage would look like, I don’t know what is! We created Lefty with the intention to unite people with the same beliefs and it makes us very happy to see that happening with so little time within our launch. Today, we are here to share the story of Rafael and Vidaya, a couple that met on Lefty and said ‘yes’ to being together in their own way. Check out their full testimonial:
Our daily ‘yes’
We are Rafael and Vidaya and we met on Lefty, the dating app for progressives
Rafa works as a lawyer in human rights and legislation on the use of medical cannabis, but he’s also a musician, who draws, and paints. He is an artist (he will try to erase this part, but I will find a way to publish it like this), he lives in São Paulo and has spent practically all his life in the big city.
I am Vidaya, a bioconstructor, I lived in several cities, and was nomadic during the pandemic passing through sites, building mud houses, experiencing permaculture, inside of a Kombi, kindly named Judite, along with my dog, Chico, and for a few months settled at Sítio Vida Livre, in Mairiporã.
We came into each other’s lives on November 14th and today we are married.
Lefty’s marriage – This is our history, in constant construction, and we came here to share it.
Vidaya – I had downloaded the app because I saw an ad in a mobile game, but no conversation had taken place beyond that: “hi, how are you?” “all right” and only that. On an antisocial day, I felt like chatting on the internet, interacting without being together. I saw a shitty profile, I mean messed up, of a guy named Rafael: One photo, zero description, only the profession, sign, and history of activism. I decided to give it a like, what if, right?
Rafael – I was still in the period of emotional hangover and post-isolation construction and some life paths. I did not have much patience to use dating apps and nor availability for this. I saw a report about Lefty on a news site. Curious about the proposal, I decided to download it to see what this new app was all about. I created a test profile, without much pretension. A photo and no description, but as my disposition was curious only, I followed the proposal. And that was fine, after all, who would like a profile like that, right? Wrong!
– I liked Rafa, without even knowing why, after all: messed up a profile (hahaha). half an hour later: match!
– I liked Vida. Interesting profile, a beautiful person with a smile that transmits a truckload of good feelings and willingness to exchange. match!
Since the first online exchange, we hit it off. The conversation fit without forcing and, contrary to all expectations (or lack thereof), the connection was simply made. Four days later we were on our first date in a doubtful hotel in the heart of the Republic neighborhood. It was the “let’s see” moment.
We had a connection and conversations without end, but, was there chemistry, after all? That’s what we went to discover. After our first meeting, it was three weeks of many exchanges, about ideas of life, relationship, experiences, experiences, and many laughs – and, yes, chemistry – there came a time when I felt that, through my other life experiences. Then was the moment that I, Rafa, would like to ask to date Vidaya on an ongoing basis.
But our connection since the first contact was so true and present that when the thought sprouted, I immediately realized that being in this “dating box”, we would automatically be and have less than we were having at the time – we were there fully connected because we wanted to, because it made sense daily, not by virtue of a “verbal contract” that kept us stuck to a word said on a date.
The next night, through Whatsapp, I told Vidaya my thoughts and the feelings I had about our relationship. Instead of starting to date, it was an official request to not-date, to recognize all our potentialities, affection, and exchanges that already existed there at that moment, without the need to “scale” the relationship with a new title. With it, we then became a non-couple – and yet we kept the habit of taking breaks every day to date a little, even from a distance.
That night passed and, in the morning, I came with more new information. I realized that this newly arrived relationship had changed many things in my life, in my being, how good it is to be who you are, and find resonance in the heart of the one you love. It was clear that with Vidaya, I’d like to share a routine, share my life. Why not, then, do it? That’s what I did.
– Rafa asked me to not date at night and I loved it, his speech totally resonated with my relationship beliefs, as a non-monogamous person. We have had a dedication and a donation worthy of what would be expected for a “serious relationship” since the first message. But the next morning he managed to fill this passionate little heart with even more love: “I honestly see myself sharing a routine with you / and that’s an understatement to say living with you”. The only possible reaction? I proposed to him!
– YES! (I accepted, of course)
And for those who were in a non-date, accepting marriage was also an act of subversion of the model of union, to bring and give our meaning. Our marriage is not put, it is not a given fact, every day we build together this relationship, and each day we reaffirm our yes, aware that we will be here as long as it is a ‘yes’, free, and spontaneous.
Yes to our love, yes to our plans, yes to the complexities, yes to coexistence daily, yes to the full package of two people in their individual life boxes building a life together. Yes to being us.
We had no church, no signed paper, no exchange of rings, no party for guests and we didn’t even buy an apartment and trousseau. But we are married and we are whole in ourselves. we live together in three separate houses (São Paulo, Mairiporã, and our Kombi) and still, we built a home in each other.
This text ends, our relationship continues for all the yes’s that exist and today, again, we say: IT IS YES!
Vidaya and Rafa
We hope that Vidaya and Rafa’s love story is one to inspire all of you that are thinking about joining Lefty, and know that here you can find someone who sees the world the same way that you do!
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